Beyond Miserable: What to Do When There’s No Hope
You knew what life was about at some point. But, certain things happened – you feel weak, unable to keep up; the whole body groans. Angry – because you’re sure that you won’t be happy again. Now, you keep asking yourself in despair – what to do when all hope is gone?
I feel like all of us have been there. However, every situation is unique, but, for the most part, it requires a considerable amount of strength, human delicacy and judgment to come out of the dreadful rut.
Simple things
I, too, have been there and had to learn how to keep moving after hitting rock bottom. I hold my hope on a leash these days – don’t give it much autonomy. When it’s pulling away, I am able to catch it quicker now.
What helped me once – a bench in the park. I sat next to an oak tree with my face towards the sun, embracing its warmth, reclaiming the vitality of the body that I had been taking for granted. I started thinking about how the most important aspects of being alive are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity. You know, just like when you are unable to notice something because it is always in front of your eyes.
Imagine living without experiencing the pleasant bitterness of fresh coffee or the rainbow of fruit flavors. I felt grateful to be able to see vibrant colors, shapes of clouds, to smell the flowers and feel the wind on my skin. After a deep breath, I wanted to thrive again. So, try to think of simple things that might make you smile or better – happy.
Be a winner
Lost hope in life is a fertilizer for harmful emotions. The most fearless thing you can do – meet sorrow with compassion. By facing the lows of your inner experience, you become more resilient.
Many athletes find confidence to be a choice, not a feeling. If you wait for it, it may never come. For many professional players, training involves affirmative self-talk. When you are “off your game,” incorporate a psychic aspect of your own mind, believe in yourself, think like a winner.
Embrace not knowing
Often, uncertainty gives us anxiety. You can’t control everything that happens to you – embrace curiosity. Imagine that you’ll find more greatness out of life because of the dark dungeon you are in now. This isn’t it, just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
Fighting with sickness
When you face a terrifying diagnosis, it feels like you fell down a deep dark hole with no ladder to climb out. Life-threatening disease strips of your power. You could go to the library and search for a book that might instill hope, but I doubt that you’ll find it.
No one knows what to do when you have no hope while dealing with a horrible disease. However, try to imagine your body as a picturesque garden and your illness – a bad weed. Let the beauty you still have shine.
Talk
The objective of conversations is to increase awareness of your situation. Not everyone feels comfortable talking to a shrink. Plus, getting professional help could cost an arm and a leg. Open up to your loved ones – lean on your friends. They might not pull you out of the task you are in, but they will be able to give you some love.
Music therapy
It’s been proven that music reduces emotional pain and increases meaningful engagement. Listen to the tunes to fill your heart, to bring cheer and positive memories. You might find songs that can explain what you are feeling in a way that your own words simply cannot.
Go even further – take lessons. There are tons of small studios and private teachers out there. It’s never late to learn how to play guitar, for example. There’s a high chance that music will become your best friend when dealing with emotional turmoil.
Build a bridge
Remember, there were days at some point in the past that you thought were the worst ever. But, somehow it worked out. It was meant to be – those dots connected. Have faith in the future. What you are going through now, will end up in the ‘folder’ under the name – experiences. Start building the bridge to cross over to the land of brightness.
Healthy escape
We often run away from problems by getting into self-destructive behavior. Yet, there are healthier ways to move away from troubles. When self-searching journey is inevitable – travel. Drive from coast to coast or fly somewhere far away: look for other colors, different landscapes, meet new people on the way. When all hope is lost, a trip could help find what motivates you.
This too shall pass
Don’t believe that this will pass? Everything in life is temporary: after rain – the sun comes out, you get hurt – the wound heals, after the night – the day arrives. Remind yourself that this will go away too. Plus, when brighter times come, the value of existence will become even higher.
When there’s no hope, we learn an essential truth about living – it’s ok to not be ok sometimes.
The strongest people are those who don’t give up when they feel crushed. Be patient, determined and be ready to begin life anew. Hope never leaves you, at times it just falls into a coma – revive it.
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Dasha Yarmolenka